Amelia's Story
The shouting was over but it still lived in Amelia’s head. The violence she witnessed appeared to her whenever she closed her eyes. She would have done anything to make it go away. Even hurt herself.
Can you believe we’re talking about an 11-year old girl…
This story contains details of self-harm and domestic violence and abuse. Unfortunately, this is a reality that our staff encounters very often and it needs to be talked about. If you have been affected by any of these issues you can find some helpful contacts here:
Amelia, eleven, saw her Mam Niamh being hurt by her dad. And she saw her Mam struggling with her own mental health. So Amelia withdrew and started hurting herself.
Amelia’s Mam, Niamh, was in a state of complete panic when she first came in to us. She was visibly upset, shaking and talking very fast, she just had so much to get off her chest… She broke down into tears. She was so worried about her daughter.
A donation today means we can help children like Amelia receive the emotional support they crucially need.
Amelia’s dad was no longer in their lives but he had left visible marks on Niamh’s body and invisible ones in Amelia’s mind.
Niamh herself suffered from mental health issues that were only made worse by her experiences with Amelia’s dad. She was struggling to keep it together and sometimes afraid she would lose control of herself, especially on those days when her daughter’s behaviour was the most challenging.
Amelia kept to herself. She often refused to go to school and Niamh tried on several occasions to physically drag her there, worried about her missing yet another day. This was damaging their already fragile relationship and Niamh felt awful. She thought she was failing her daughter. She didn’t know what to do.
Then Niamh started noticing the marks on Amelia’s body, which filled her with horror. Whatever approach she tried when confronting her only seemed to make things worse, with Amelia either becoming withdrawn or lashing out before leaving the room.
Niamh was at a loss. She would have done anything to help her daughter but was in such a dark place herself. It was a vicious cycle.
34% of the children we worked with in 2025 have experienced the impact of Domestic Violence and Abuse in their past, while 15% are currently affected by it*.
When Amelia first came in to Barnardos she wouldn’t share anything about how she felt. She just sat in complete silence. But after a few weeks she finally opened up to Ellen. Together they talked about her Mam’s mental health and the effect it had had on Amelia and on their relationship together. They discussed what had happened to both of them in the past and how it had been haunting them in different ways, tearing them apart instead of bringing them together.
Her Mam Niamh also received support around parenting. With Ellen they discussed how she can set boundaries, for example. Before that, she had been feeling so bad about what Amelia went through that she tended to let her do what she wanted all the time, not realising the importance setting clear boundaries in a child’s life. They also worked on a safety plan for Amelia and on building a support network that Niamh can call upon when things are really bad and she needs help.
They have both been through so much hurt, physical and psychological, that it will take a long time and a lot of support to rebuild their confidence and self-esteem, and to strengthen their relationship.
Please donate today so we can be here for them for as long as we need to, providing them with the tools so they can learn to look after themselves in the future, long after they stop attending our services.
*Barnardos Annual Report 2025, p.24
While Amelia’s story is true, we have changed all names and some other details in order to protect the family’s identity. Photos used are models.
